Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Don't let me make excuses for the past year. I let us grow distant and out of touch. Your world moved and I stood still. I can't make up for the lost time, or the lost times, I can't make enough amends for not being there... but I can try. You know where I was, and what I was doing. I know now how much I neglected the people that really mattered.
Still my best friend. I should have been there when you were going through NA, I should have been there for everything. I should be there more for you now, but I get the feeling you're keeping me at arm's length.
I understand. I've been there.
Through it all, you were my reality check, though I didn't always appreciate it, and I didn't listen as well as I should have. You're one of the few true friends this geek has, and you were there for me when I needed you. I just wish I knew how to pay you back, how to make you realize how important that was to me.
And no Marines. Ever.
Yes, you. I screwed up. If we had taken the time to talk more, you'd have a better understanding of why, but it doesn't really matter. I made a mistake and could have handled the situation better. I don't even know if you remember what the situation was. Doesn't matter. I wish things had worked out differently, since you're a good person, and a good person for me to be around... but there's nothing I can do about that now.
And yes, I sorted out the magazines.
Yes, I can still call you GKT. The whole "A" thing just doesn't sit well with me.
I'm not being too hard on myself. Honest. And I've always been a little too hard on you, I held you to my own standards, which was unfair.
I'm glad we still talk. There's a lot left to say.
You've been an asshole, especially so recently. You were an ass to yourself for most, if not all, of 2003. Since then you've screwed up even more. You pushed away people who weren't about to cut your heart out.
I know you've been burned, and burned badly... don't spend the rest of your life afraid of fire.
[ 2/03/2004 12:25:00 AM ] [