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Thursday, March 20, 2003


We go to liberate not to conquer. We will not fly our flags in their
country. We are entering Iraq to free a people and the only flag which will
be flown in that ancient land is their own. Show respect for them. There
are some who are alive at this moment who will not be alive shortly. Those
who do not wish to go on that journey, we will not send. As for the others
I expect you to rock their world. Wipe them out if that is what they
choose. But if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in

Iraq is steeped in history. It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the
Great Flood and the birthplace of Abraham. Tread lightly there. You will
see things that no man could pay to see and you will have to go a long way
to find a more decent, generous and upright people than the Iraqis.

You will be embarrassed by their hospitality even though they have nothing.
Don't treat them as refugees for they are in their own country. Their
children will be poor, in years to come they will know that the light of
liberation in their lives was brought by you.

If there are casualties of war then remember that when they woke up and got
dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day. Allow them
dignity in death. Bury them properly and mark their graves.

It is my foremost intention to bring every single one of you out alive but
there may be people among us who will not see the end of this campaign. We
will put them in their sleeping bags and send them back. There will be no
time for sorrow.

The enemy should be in no doubt that we are his nemesis and that we are
bringing about his rightful destruction.

There are many regional commanders who have stains on their souls and they
are stoking the fires of hell for Saddam. He and his forces will be
destroyed by this coalition for what they have done. As they die they will
know their deeds have brought them to this place. Show them no pity.

It is a big step to take another human life.
It is not to be done lightly. I know of men who have taken life needlessly
in other conflicts, I can assure you they live with the mark of Cain upon
them. If someone surrenders to you then remember they have that right in
international law and ensure that one day they go home to their family. The
ones who wish to fight, well, we aim to please.

-Lieutenant Colonel Tim Collins, to the 1st Battalion of the Royal Irish Regiment, days ago.

Good luck, and good hunting

3/20/2003 11:15:40 PM ] [  ]


Let's face it. Antidepressants are expensive. No one has time for yoga or meditation. And hey, depression is no fun. However, [this] could be the answer for you.

3/20/2003 06:21:20 PM ] [  ]


Wednesday, March 19, 2003

With people like [this guy] on the loose (and, it seems, these guys make up the majority), it's no wonder I make the big bucks.

3/19/2003 06:14:32 PM ] [  ]


Thankfully, I don't spew rancid milk, so I wouldn't call [this] "life changing". Who knows, might be for you though!

3/19/2003 04:51:17 PM ] [  ]


Tuesday, March 18, 2003


Dante: Making a male climax is not all that challenging: insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.
Veronica: How flattering.
Dante: Now, making a woman cum...therein lies a challenge.
Veronica: Oh, you think so?
Dante: A girl makes a guy cum, it's standard. A guy makes a girl cum, it's talent.
Veronica: And I actually date you?

And that's all I have to say about that.

3/18/2003 08:56:22 PM ] [  ]



Sunday I went up to Fresno and got to hang out with the love of my life for the first time in a month or so, which was great. Walking around the mall, shopping with her and a friend my feet started to get heavy and my perception slooooowwwweeeeddd down. After a little while of, well, leaning on things, it became apparent that somehow my blood sugar levels got messed up. After we ate I felt a bit better and I drove back to LA later that night.

Almost the next thing I knew it was 2:00pm on Monday and I felt like I had the mother of all hangovers. Back in 4th grade we found out that I'm "borderline hypoglycemic", which is really rarely a problem for me but kinda had me knocked out for the past couple of days.

So $80 in groceries and stuff later, I really am going to change my eating habits. Honest.

3/18/2003 02:40:12 PM ] [  ]


The Ultimate Jellyfish Costume

A few years back Chris and his then-girlfriend went to an ILM halloween party as a jellyfish, which I sadly missed out on. Now, if they had some of [this fabric], that would have made the ULTIMATE JELLYFISH COSTUME.

I could think of some really good uses for this stuff!

3/18/2003 02:33:43 PM ] [  ]